About the book...

Angry at the human race and its methodical destruction of her resources, Mother Earth recruits souls who have just left their bodies to serve Her, and turns them against humanity. A powerful, rising force proceeds to carry out Mother Nature’s plan to systematically destroy towns, cities, states… and eventually, the world. Amidst the chaos, a forbidden relationship between a human girl, Violette, and Onyx, a lead Gemini, begins. They will both find themselves in the middle of a revolutionary war that will either save, or destroy our world.

Read Chapters 1-14 on Wattpad

Monday, April 14, 2014

If you STAY, it's not SPOUSAL abuse, it's SELF abuse- WARNING- controversial topic- this is just my opinion...

I'll repeat the title of this post now. If you STAY, it's not SPOUSAL abuse, it's SELF abuse- WARNING- controversial topic- this is just my opinion...

Please don't get angry about what I am about to say. Please understand I am speaking from my own experience and from my heart, to those of you who may have been through the same ordeal or are in it now.

I met my first husband at age thirteen. We dated on and off through my adolescence. My dad hated him and warned me that he wasn't good enough for me. Because I was looking outwardly, to fill a hole inside of myself, I did not listen. Because my mentally ill mother had exited my life at age twelve and rarely made any effort to spend time with me, I did not listen. Because I had no self esteem, was angry, rebellious and hell bent on setting up a perfect life for myself, I did not listen.

Despite his suicide threats when I tried to break things off, despite his horrible temper, knack for punching through doors and car windows, and his own lack of self esteem, I married him at age eighteen. All the red flags and alarm bells couldn't stop me nor could  my father's pleading or wisdom.

We settled down on two acres of land in the country and bought a double wide trailer. The first three months of marriage was great. Then we started smoking marijuana because it was the only thing that seemed to allow us to tolerate each other. It kept us calm, for the most part. Whenever he questioned me because I was five minutes late coming home from work, I would answer him and then brush it off. When he told me what I could and couldn't wear out of the house, I would just change my clothes and try my best not to get him angry. If he yelled at me and I got scared, I would try to call my dad, but he would rip the phone wires out of the wall, rip the wires out of the car so I couldn't go anywhere, or rip my shoes off my feet if I tried to run down our mile long gravel driveway to the neighbor's house.

Through his many attempts to stifle and control me, I felt more and more helpless and less and less likely to ever be able to love his anger away. I began to get angry and fight back. Things got physical and scarier. Then I got the bright idea that perhaps a baby would help cure him of his anger issues. Ha ha. I was so great at lying to myself. So I brought my daughter into the world and after seeing him become a loving father for three months and then revert back to his old ways again, I deemed him even more of a time bomb. When my girl was ten months old, I began plotting how to get away form him and remain safe. I looked into shelters, went into some women's groups and looked into renting a place with my mother. He came home from work one night and I was feeding our baby in the highchair. He was angry when I told him I was thinking of moving out so he knocked her noodles out of my hand and onto the floor. She began screaming and crying when he cornered me in the laundry room and yelled at me at the top of his lungs. He wouldn't let me go comfort her. That was my last straw.

My father came and picked me up that night. My husband stood on the porch and watched me leave, holding our daughter as ransom against me. I took nothing with me that night. No furniture, no pictures, nothing of my material possessions. He called me the next day and told me he was going to kill himself. I heard the gun go off over the phone and knowing his theatrical tendencies, I knew he hadn't really done it. So into the silence of the phone I told him I was calling 911. Then, back from the dead, he proceeded to scream at me over the phone.

In looking back, fourteen years later, I have come to several conclusions that would have astounded my then 20- year-old self. I could have left any time I wanted to, but I didn't want to. I kept thinking that love would change him. I kept waiting for the vision of the husband I wanted to materialize form the ashes of the broken man I'd married. I was not a victim of abuse, I was allowing myself to be put into abusive situations, welcoming the violence, thriving in it. I was addicted to the drama of my life and too afraid to change for fear of being alone and for fear of change itself. I had to create this other being and out her at risk too, before the stakes were high enough to move me into any corrective action. My family knew what was happening to me, my friends, even me, but it wasn't enough because I did not know my own self worth.

I used to stand up against the people that thought that women could leave whenever they wanted to leave their abusers. I would get horribly offended when I would hear others say things like, "Oh, she could have gotten away from him," or "She just wants people to feel sorry for her." Recently, I realized the reason those things made me so angry was because they were true. I wanted the attention and sympathy I gained from seeing myself as the victim. I could have left him had I been brave enough to realize I had more power than he did in his right thumb. I just didn't have the insight to wield that power or tap into it. I did not want good things for myself and so I programmed my surroundings and attracted negative things all around me.

The long and the short of it is this: I wanted to change someone and I couldn't. I was abused and I subjected myself to that abuse. When I decided to leave, I did. I made a choice and because it was the right choice, all the bad choices were forgiven.

So if you are that person I was fourteen years ago... if you are lost and angry, if you know you are worth more but you haven't taken the steps to love yourself, if you are in a situation that can be improved and should be, but you can't find the ladder to get out of your hole, if you cry way too much and your mate is the root cause of your tears... then look in the mirror. Look in the mirror and say this out loud. "I am worth the change that I will make and there is a better place I will be." And know, without a doubt, that it is never too late to fall in love with yourself and there is never a time when you will feel like making a change, you just have to make it!



Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Monday, March 10, 2014

"Our planet is sentient and She is pissed." Teenblurb.org gives Gemini Rising 5 STARS!!!

http://teenblurb.org/about/ 

"Gemini Rising: Ethereal Fury is a refreshing and unique story where Mother Earth starts to fight back after the careless and destructive way humans treat Her. In this story our planet is sentient and She is pissed. In Her fury she recruits souls that have just left their body to fight for Her. So a battle begins…

Violette is a human that is fighting in a battle to save the human race against the very planet that they live one. The Gemini are strong and a forced to be reckoned with, but Violette and her friends will do everything in their power to win. What Violette does not expect is Onyx.

Onyx is the leader of the Gemini’s, and there is something about him that calls to Violette on an elemental level. Her soul seems to burn when he is near. In a world turned upside down with beings that we thought were purely make believable, loving the enemy is not the wisest course of action, but love rarely makes sense. 

Violette and Onyx have such a fierce and primal connection; it cannot be denied. Will these star crossed lovers find a way to heal the earth and be together? 

This story is such a wonderful blend of earth conscious themes and what can happen if we do not stand up and make a difference, let our voices be heard. The characters are very realistic and you can’t helping falling in love with them, and loving to hate the villains, even though I feel that most of the characters are neither good or bad, they seem to exist in a grey area. 

This is a beautifully told story and a promising start to a new and unparalleled series!" - Samantha Martin

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

SEDUCTIVELY DANGEROUS yet magnetic villain...

“DRAWING IN HER AUDIENCE, O'Gorek creates a SEDUCTIVELY DANGEROUS yet magnetic villain that the reader CANNOT HELP but find alluring.”



Saturday, January 11, 2014

Are you really going to take her like this? Like an animal on the ground?



Excerpt, Gemini Rising Book I, Chapter 23- Scent
"Are you really going to take her like this?”  Slate was still hemming and hawing. “Like an animal on the ground? You want this to be her first experience with a man? Look at her! Look at how light and sweet she is! I see that now, even through your dark eyes. You owe her the comfort of time and grace, not lust and greed. Not on your level. She doesn't belong there.” The words sounded in his head like icy needles being thrown on hot coals. They sputtered and steamed and infuriated him.
Shut up. His mind fought the internal battle against the inner angel. Why had he come back? Another Collin? Another mistake he’d made?
“No, I won't. I will not shut up! You know you can't keep her! You know she’ll hate you if she finds out you’ve done this to her, to me. She will never forget, never forgive you, never.”
I don’t care! I want it, I want her! Shut your mouth, you fool! When I’m done with you, you are going to suffer.
She thinks you are me, you idiot! She loves me! Not you!
Onyx’s resolve was weakening. He was being so careless with his little prize, so mean. Slate was so very right and it made him angrier. He looked down at her sweet face, so relaxed and open, waiting to be loved, to give her very core to him. He could not do this. With a hiss of air, he rested his head onto hers and spoke to her in a regretful whisper.
"Oh, little one." Once the words were out, he felt her stiffen, sensed the change in her demeanor. He raised his head, expecting her to scream at him, pummel him; fight to get him off. He knew he had spoken those very same words to her in the field, right before he had attacked her, and that she would recognize the tone and pitch. This would be easier for him to resist. Her resentment would surely sever this union of their bodies, however brief and wonderful it was. He needed it to end.
Thank you. Slate whispered with relief from within.
When Onyx’s eyes met hers, none of the emotions he had prepared himself for emerged. Instead, there was a curious tilt of her head, and an excited light he'd never seen before. This is not good, Onyx thought.
“Most definitely not,” Slate chimed in.
"Slate? Is that you?" Her voice held hope and wonder. Not a hint of fear or anxiety. He licked his dry lips and responded.

Monday, December 23, 2013

Why I love Crack- simply the title of my story, NOT a portrayal of actual feelings...

***I DO NOT ENCOURAGE THE USE OF any legal, illegal or recreational drugs, period. This is a story and not a love confession for crack cocaine. I condone no mind altering substances, not even alcohol, which is why I haven't even had a beer in over TEN years!***

I had to debate with myself so hard before I finally decided to post my dirty laundry on my blog... then I decided that nothing anyone can say about it would hurt me any more than I've hurt myself in the past... and, since I am my own agent I decide what to put out there about myself. So here goes. Here's a little about my climb from the dungeon to the tower of my own "inner castle."


Why I love crack cocaine
My Gutsy Story® by Jessica O’Gorek
At eight years old, my parents divorced: strike one. At ten, my mother was bi-polar and had spent a good six months in Western State Mental Hospital then took off to Richmond where I didn’t see her for a good year. I was told she was sick and couldn’t handle raising me at the time: strike three. At twelve, I decided I wanted to smoke cigarettes and being the all-knowing teenager, I would proceed to replace the love I was lacking from my mother by getting it from boys. So I started having sex and sneaking out in the middle of the night: strike four.  At thirteen, I met my future husband: strike five, six and seven. At sixteen, I got drunk for the first time and spent a good half an hour retching in my boyfriend’s front yard: lost count! At seventeen, my father didn’t know what to do with my sorry ass anymore so he left me at his house and went to live thirty minutes away with his girlfriend. At eighteen, I got married, bought a house and two acres in the country and smoked a joint for the first time: Strike infinite!
What follows is a whirlwind story about spousal, drug and all forms of abuse, combined with motherhood, addiction, recovery and chasing my ultimate dream of becoming an author.
Now, where was I? Oh, right, eighteen. I quickly learned that my husband and high school sweet heart is a controlling, physically and emotionally abusive redneck and that the only way we could tolerate each other was by smoking a lot of weed. Twenty: It’s time for a baby! Yeah, I thought maybe a crying, stinky swaddled mess of adorable would save our marriage. Ha! Thankfully, my daughter, combined with a new drug, cocaine, would be the beginning of the end of my first pitiful marriage. When he decided to hit me in front of her at ten months old and strangled me because I wouldn’t let him put coke on certain body parts, I decided it was time to leave.
At twenty, I took my girl and ran over to where my dad moved. I met up with my other high school sweetheart, got my own place for the first time and got clean for about six months. Then I met White Boy Larry, the equivalent of my pimp in disguise. White Boy Larry was his code name to get into the crack house where he introduced me to my new lover, Crack.
Crack and I got along splendidly! He would keep me up all night, make me feel like superwoman, helped me lose weight, and cleaned my house, the perfect life companion, right? Our relationship was one of few words and little emotional growth. He always seemed to know what I wanted, when I wanted it and I couldn’t get enough of him! If he was gone, even for a second, I would miss him so badly! I would go out at all odd hours of the night to try and find him and bring him safely home. The only issue was he wanted me all to himself and would rarely give up any space in my brain or heart so I could share it with my daughter.
After six months, our beautiful relationship began to take a serious nosedive. When he found out I was cheating on him with Sam, my soon to be second husband, he got a little angry. When I told him my daughter meant more to me than him, he got even angrier; so angry that he kept me up for three days, stressed me out so much I developed hives and couldn’t’ eat or drink anything!
Finally, with Sam’s encouragement, I was able to break up with Crack. Sam told me I had an addiction to Crack and that I needed some serious help to get over him. At ninety pounds, with hives and an empty shell of a soul, I made a decision to enter into substance abuse counseling with sixteen other addicts like myself.
That was in 2003, at age 23. I had a few epiphanies while in counseling. As I sat in a room with sixteen other ladies, the counselor told us all that one of us would still be clean within one year’s time. As I looked at the other ladies with their scars and tats, the empty sadness in their eyes reminded me of wounded animals in a cage. I decided that I would be that one person and that no one would stop me. For once, my stubbornness was on my side and not against me.
I quit using all legal, (alcohol included) and illegal substances. I became a wonderful mother, married Sam in 2005, quit smoking cigarettes in 2007, and became a religious exerciser and a vegetarian. Today, I have been clean for eleven years, I run 3-5 miles a day, 4 days a week, I earn a dependable 50K a year, I have a car that’s paid for, my own place, a fabulous 13-year-old girl, I’m a published author and I just took a huge leap of faith by leaving my second husband because I wasn’t in love anymore. My next step at self-preservation is getting off my anti-depressants and working my way to the top of a best sellers list!
So I love crack cocaine because it took me to the dungeon so I could appreciate moving up to the tower of the castle. Without starving in its shadows, I never would have been able to be thankful for any light that crept through between the bars of my dungeon cell. It has taught that if I love myself, everything else will fall where it’s meant to. Not always where and when I want it to, but where it’s meant to.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Acid rain makes water ways LESS ACIDIC?

Acid rain makes area water ways in the eastern US LESS ACIDIC?
Due to the landscaping around the rivers being weathered, the alkaline particles from the soil are washing into them.  This has been described as a “River on Rolaids” by Michael Pace, a professor of environmental sciences at the University of Virginia.
The results of the higher calcium carbonate mean less acid in the water, which is great news for the fish and other aquatic creatures, but not so much for the water treatment plants that make our water safe to drink! New measures will have to be taken to make sure the calcium does not build up in the pipes scale them, or foul the lines.
Score a point for Mother Earth! Really, we do this to ourselves, but fail to see the irony over and over again of how the planet fights back to heal itself by inconveniencing us, and sometimes even killing us! When will we learn…  
Read more about on NPR.org:
 http://wamu.org/news/13/09/03/scientists_basic_chemistry_of_area_waterways_changing

Thursday, December 12, 2013

BEGGING Shamelessly... need your help!

Pleaaaase HELP me win this book cover contest! If you ever need a vote, a like or a share when I’m finally a well-known author just remind me that you voted for my cover and I’ll return the favor!!!

http://bit.ly/1fNWq2Y

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Begging shamelessly... PLEASE HELP!


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote for my covers in these contests! I am in the semi-finals and so far... I'm losing. I really NEED your help!

http://bit.ly/1fNWq2Y

Scroll down a little and click on the 5th star to vote:

http://authorsdb.com/books/2013-book-...

P.S.- You can vote once a day every day for me on Facebook if you are on and you think about it ;-)

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

WIN a $50 Amazon Gift card! Enter for a chance!

WIN $50 Amazon gift card!!! Enter the Don't Mess With Mother Earth Gemini Rising Tour! http://www.whatsbeyondforks.com/2013/11/dont-mess-with-mother-earth-tour-guest.html?spref=tw

Monday, November 18, 2013

TSUNAMIS: Mother Earth’s way of saying, “Get off me!”

In another show of affection, Mother Earth wiped out 18,000 people on March 11th 2011. I believe she is always trying to balance whatever effect we have on her. On Dec. 26th 2004 the Indian Ocean Tsunami was responsible for 150,000 deaths… or was it? Did the earthquake that caused the Tsunami claim the lives of so many, or did the force behind the quake render us as her victims?

Is the human race so stupid to think that all of these natural disasters happening around us are simply coincidence? The answer is yes, we are. When will we realize that are callousness and ignorance is going to be our demise? I’m not sure there is a clan or paranormal beings below the ocean, shifting the plates and following the commands of the earth, but the concept is intriguing, yes? If you agree then you should read the first seven chapters of my book on Watt-pad! http://www.wattpad.com/21320013-gemini-rising-ethereal-fury-book-i-chapters-1-7

Here are some of the amazing facts about the Japan earthquake and tsunami.
• The earthquake shifted Earth on its axis of rotation by redistributing mass, like putting a dent in a wobbling top. The temblor also shortened the length of day by about a microsecond.
• More than 1,000 aftershocks have hit Japan since the earthquake, the largest a magnitude 7.9.
• About 250 miles (400 km) of Japan's northern Honshu coastline dropped by 2 feet (0.6 meters).
• The jolt moved Japan's main island of Honshu eastward by 8 feet (2.4 meters).
• The Pacific Plate slid westward near the epicenter by 79 feet (24 m).
• In Antarctica, the seismic waves from the earthquake sped up the Whillans Ice Stream, jolting it by about 1.5 feet (0.5 meters).
• The tsunami broke icebergs off the Sulzberger Ice Shelf in Antarctica.
• As the tsunami crossed the Pacific Ocean, a 5-foot high (1.5 m) high wave killed more than 110,000 nesting seabirds at the Midway Atoll National Wildlife Refuge.
• In Norway, water in some fjords pointing northeast toward Japan (up and over the pole) sloshed back and forth as seismic waves from the earthquake raced through.
• The earthquake produced a low-frequency rumble called infrasound, which traveled into space and was detected by the Goce satellite.

Reference:

Japan Earthquake & Tsunami of 2011: Facts and Information | LiveScience . 2013. [ONLINE] Available at: http://www.livescience.com/39110-japan-2011-earthquake-tsunami-facts.html. [Accessed 18 November 2013].

Friday, November 15, 2013

"Fangirling" and Meeting Jodi Meadows/ Book Trailer/ My Fan Group/ Read some of my book for free!

Hi all! Just wanted to update you on my Barnes and Noble signing. I didn't sell a single book, unless you count the ones that Barnes and Noble bought for the event :( HOWEVER, I got to sit with Jodi Meadows, author of the Incarnate Series https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8573642-incarnate?ac=1 what a treat! A UVA student came in and was very giddy to see Jodi. I got to see someone in person "fangirling" over their favorite author and I thought to myself- "I want that so bad! I want that to be me one day!" Small moments like these keep me so very inspired!

Wanna join my Goodreads fan group? I'd love your support! It's 232 members strong but I need more!!! https://www.goodreads.com/group/show/110616-gemini-rising-series-fans

Oh, if you haven't picked up a copy of my book, see if you like it! Read the first seven chapters on Watt Pad for free! http://www.wattpad.com/21320013-gemini-rising-ethereal-fury-book-i-chapters-1-7

If you haven't already, please check out my new book trailer! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=154Rpy9TY-k&feature=youtu.be

Friday, November 8, 2013

Ready for the BOOK TRAILER FOR GEMINI RISING Ethereal Fury?!?!

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want... oops, got a lil carried away there, didn't I? Pleeeease watch this awesome new book trailer that brings Onyx and Violette to life!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=154Rpy9TY-k&feature=youtu.be

Sunday, November 3, 2013

God, she was so tempting, so helpless.



"Who's there?" Her little whisper startled him. He was not expecting her to speak out loud, to confront her fears. "What do you want? Why are you here?" Her voice was demanding, but there was a quiver underneath the bravery.
She reached out and poked her reflection in the mirror. Could she see him in there? He decided to take this a step further, to push the limits. He leaned down and brushed his lips against her head. She was amazing; her curiosity won out over her instinct to run. He reached out with both hands now and brazenly lifted her hair off her back. She sat, frozen like a deer in headlights, too afraid to move. Her long ponytail was brought to the front and laid to rest on her left shoulder.
"Oh my God," she said aloud. "What are you?" He couldn't answer her so he cupped her face in his palms and ran his lips over her eyes to close them. A soft smile began at the corners of her lips. He was not sure if he had transfixed her or if she had hypnotized him. He smiled too and he did not want to let go of her sweet little head. She still sat peacefully, no signs of stress or fear. His palms ran over her lips now, he could see them pull slightly from the friction. She started to shake her head slowly and began to speak, but he hushed her with a finger to her lips. He did not want the spell to be broken. If she knew she was being touched by a murderous apparition, she would scream and run. At least this way, she felt safe because she was in awe of the experience, just as a child might be. Without seeing him, she could sense and trust his sincere intentions. She knew he was nice and meant her no harm. If only this were completely true.
They stayed this way for some time. He touched her tentatively, in different places, and watched her reaction to each caress. He knew he would have to let her go soon and make his way to the cellar, but this was the sweetest thing he had ever experienced and he wanted to savor it.
He could feel a rip current of energy start to build within him. He imagined what he could do to her right now. Then he asked himself if this was right. He did not know her well, but in the field she had enjoyed his advances to a certain level of intensity, and then tried to stop him. She had not wanted to share herself then and he could not imagine she would want to now. Not with a murderer.
With great restraint, he kissed her collarbone lovingly, pressing his lips against its smoothness, and then climbed up to her neck to do the same. God, she was so tempting, so helpless.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

"Can I touch you, Violette? I want to touch you, here."



"A warlock? A male witch? It's almost easier to accept a demon. Besides, what would a male witch, or any witches, for that matter, want with me?" She mistook the incredulous look he gave her for general annoyance with her questions. But what he said shocked her into silence.
"I can answer that, Violette," he said, seductively lowering his voice. "But I don't know if you're prepared for me to." His hand went to her neck then, the thumb resting on her racing pulse, his palm on her delicate collarbone.
This was not the young man she had a crush on. This was an experienced seducer, with clear intentions; he was making her feel as if she were being crushed by waves and was in danger of getting lost in the undertow. She was most definitely not ready. Her heart and brain screamed out in warning, but her edgy muscles were putting up a good argument. All this time, she'd spent trying to get his attention…now she had it and she was petrified.
“I’m… prepared.”
“Are you?” Suddenly, he leaned in close to her face, his lips three inches from her ear. She felt his breath caress the skin of her shoulder. He hovered there, as if he were silently asking for permission to proceed. His thumb and palm held still; the heat where her neck joined her shoulder was searing.
Violette looked away, down at the flickering candle, exposing her collarbone. No words would come to her. Her mind was racing. She couldn't settle on one thought. What should she say? Why was he having this effect on her? She always liked Slate, but this was more, much more.
Because he wasn’t speaking at all, it would be up to her to break the silence. When she was about to speak, his lips softly kissed her neck. Shivers careened up and down her spine and curled around her toes. The hand that had been on her neck was now slowly coming down in front of her, closer to her waist. Her breath caught in her throat. She still kept her head turned.
Slate pressed his lips firmly against her shoulder now; the pressure of his hand resting on her rib cage was sending a strange humming sensation all the way through her. Her gaze dropped to look at the hand that was assaulting her so sweetly.
“Slate…” Her voice was questioning, seeking answers, not understanding what was happening. Her instincts were telling her to arch her back in offering, her common sense screamed danger!
"Can I touch you, Violette? I want to touch you, here." His hand hesitated over her outer thigh.
Even if she wanted to say no, she could not find her voice.
“And here,” he placed his other hand on her sternum, pressing her down to the cot. She resisted. His touch was not rough, but curious, earnest. Despite his seductiveness, he seemed unfamiliar with what he was doing, almost fumbling, but gracefully.
“You feel soft…sweet.” He was mumbling silky endearments, inhaling her scent, nuzzling her ear. Her belly quivered; every nerve was on high alert, screaming for more stimulation. Without thinking, her eyes closed and a subtle moan escaped her.
“Mmm… lie down.” An ever so delicate command, but one that she obeyed. She was aware, yet totally witless. She knew his knees had hit the floor and that her hips were suspended, her shaking knees striving for the strength to support her lower half. She lifted her head to look down, and was terrified to see him sitting there. Her skirt was still a barrier. With his head leaning down to her belly, a look of pure hunger bathed the usual angles of his face, and made them fiercer, more virile.
She watched him bow his head and kiss her stomach through the thin white shirt. She wanted to stop him, should stop him, but her body was not her friend right now; it was an unrecognizable vessel of betrayal. Answering his affections, her hands went to his head, rubbing tentatively through his hair. He dared to look up at her, the eye contact a clash of electricity, a door to their worlds opened with the connection. His lips were pressed so firmly together now as if he were in physical pain. When he spoke, his voice was restrained; he was fighting something back.
 “Ah, this is sweet, you are lovely.”
She didn’t know what to say.
 “My dear Violette, it is time to stop now. You are wonderful; I am weak. I do not want to hurt you, I can’t do this, it would not be fair.”
His words made absolutely no sense and she didn’t hear half of them.  Violette understood he wanted to stop, and after that comprehension, the rest of what he said rolled across her like ice water. Her wanton position beneath him did not allow her to sit up. Hesitating, her hands left his head and went straight to either side of his face and tried to pull him toward her.   
His eyes grew suddenly wide and their lips met sweetly. What was she doing? What was happening to her? Was she dreaming again?
When he pulled away from her and his intense gaze roamed the length of her body beneath him, she decided this was real and she was insane. What he said next made her blood start to churn.
“I just want to feel the inside of you. I know it’s just as pretty as the outside.” He lifted up on his knees again now; his hands moving from her face to her waist. He held her gaze intently while he squeezed her rib cage, feeling how tiny she was.
“Slate?”
“Yes?” he asked, smiling lazily now.
“I’ve never…I mean, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what you want. Do you…do you… love me?"
Violette’s simple, diffident question and the hope in her hooded eyes when she asked it, struck him deeply. He surely lusted after her. He wanted to possess her, literally, and he would kill for her, but did he love her? A desperate need to lie to her swept over him, but no matter how he tried, he could not falsify his feelings. When he took in her frailness, her innocence compared to his wickedness, he suddenly felt unworthy.
Onyx let go and pulled her up into a sitting position. He could not speak; he did not want to hurt her feelings, and he honestly did not know what to say, short of a callous “I don’t know.”
“Slate? What are you doing?” Her perplexed expression made him angry with himself. Why had he done this? Why? He felt like he was losing his mind and all his senses.
“I’m sorry.” He ground out the words between tight teeth, his face a mask of dark emotion.